Love

read this

2009-10-07T15:46:00.002+08:00

i'm taking back my love...
i've given you too much...
i'm unappreciated....
i hate myself for loveing u too much
yes that's rite that's the truth
i've been giving u fake smiles
i cnt put up a fake smile animore

like she said thanks for letting me go
now let me go
i'm not gng to love anione who doesn't appreciate it animore or did u ever...

i'm taking back my love..

i wun cry for the hunger in my heart coz i've stumbled toooo far

2009-10-03T00:20:00.003+08:00

life's a bitch

i need to settle with some low life ones...

i'm a bitch

n i still struggle with it

haiz......

let js see how far i'm fucking pushed.....

mybe i shld js be as cold'

mybe i shld js be how i was few mnths ago

mybe js mybe i'll feel better soonnnnnnnnn

mybe i shld js take this to forget it...

yes i shld

i'm js too nice .......

2009-04-16T15:49:00.002+08:00

school's starting as soon as next week...
i'm always at a position the last week of hols....
stuck wit loads todo
haiz.....

stress....
perhaps i dun have to reli stretch it too thin...
i could do it during weekends ...
hmmmm..

hols were great but well
there were some hiccups i cn sae...
ok mybe its time i kept a diary...
i dunnoo

todos

2009-04-05T09:12:00.003+08:00

thanks for updatg ur blog abg...tot it wudn't be till i reach bali at nite wud i be able to read of anytin to noe wads happennin with u...

i'm all dressed up here as im done with my packg..
my siblings are putting things their luggages last min....
glad to hear that u're gng to pick me from the airport!!!! cnt wait for tt...my body still ache from the massages ...hehe

my hair's still ok despite one night's sleep...
good thing i didn't tie it up like my sister did...
else i'll have bad hair...
well gtg to breakfast....
i'll pdate more...
have fun at the soccer my love...
hehe
yea i had to puff a bit ytr..
i was js gttg too irritable and exhausted....
ok
muakcs!

2009-04-05T00:35:00.002+08:00

i'm overseas again...it sucks to be away from him....wished i didn't fight last nite wit him..swit thing was more concerned i was to suffer from withdrawal symptoms....
had my hair done all at aunty Lia's salon...
she suggested
that we kids go check out the club below ....but i js kept quiet...a promise is a promise....with or without my love knowing , i didn't wana go and never went to it...tmr as of ard 10 in the mornin aft breakfast all i'll be gng over to bali....niwaez hope you're dng ok...i feel extremely bad the mornin aft the fight we had mydarl ..

i js wanted to see if u were willing as i was to do wad woulld make the other much at ease..
i felt selfish but then agn i do feel overprotective when i'm js not ard u....hope u're ok now....i reli miss u..haiz....hope u never skip a meal js as promised....i reckon this quiting is making me irritatable too......my siblings are wondering y .....they overlooked that i guess....tempting to fall back but i'm gng try hard and stay clear this wk...will then tell me if i'm capable to .....its so swit and unexpected wen u were woried bt me baby...haiz

haiz seriously i miss u .... if u say u cnt distract urself 247.....then its not all fun 247 either.....haiz.....i love u...

2009-02-15T00:21:00.002+08:00

haiz..
the days to the 19th pass by ever so slowly
making every second excruciatingly painful to bear
i wonder about the surprise you're planning to ambush on me upon my arrival
hehe
gosh
but no
i said to myself
you know your weakness and i don't want my surprise spoiled
hhe...so i will not probe..
not a chance

haiz
i try and try not to kol u as ofthen
but even so now with my sis and her friend sleepin over...
i find meself alone
wit my folks together have each other as company
whereas mine are this laptop and this tv

aniwaez
though i cannot wait to meet you darl and celerbrate our special occasions together
our way
i try to make full use of my time here
spending quality time wit my folks
whether they notice it or not..

any husss
been tempted to pack a bit
but didn't wanna shoow too much of enthusiasm gng hm
or else they'll suspect...
niwaez told my mum i'lll be havg dinner wit my darl upon my return
feeling tired now aft the workout
i did aft shopping..
well
tts all for now...
much love....

2009-02-10T16:14:00.003+08:00

i was emailing my galpal ..
updating a lil bit on my life now
i just actually came back from kl trip
it was js a short trip to buy for me mum bags and all

apparrently penang has lil variety on branded stuff...
was soooooooooo tempted to buy for meself
but what to do
we cud barely fit our stuff in the boot wit js some tie and extra shoes my dad bought us
so yea

it was my first time to stay in concorde hotel in kl
yup pple
the hardrock cafe is open now
no longer under renovation for those who were hoping to take a peep
or buy the clothes or experience

anyhoosz
it was hip and happening
we reached quite late so
went up put our luggages and freshened up...
my dad wudn't let us in any of the cafes be it not the hardrock cafe
lol
obviously the hardrock cafe out of limits for families
its a bar for godsake
which btw my dad and his fren saw bt 2 menteri walking into it
js in tt hr of sittng
and th cafe beside it in which my dad n a fren of his waitd for us
sultan of selangor was there behind
so bc us gurls
me n my sis was there
haha
he walked out to talk to us
and see to it that thedy would lay eyes on us
u noe how it is
these guys wit such money in abundance and power
they'll use it
such as us gurls are theirs

anyhoos
we headed to melting pot there and have heavy supper
lol
excelent futtcini arrabiata...if tts how u spell it
lol
tho i regret to sae throughout my stay there i didn't make it for breakfast
haha
the nite after tho my siblings and i
we sneaked out behind the hotel and had some roti chanai for me bro and tea-o for me
milo
gt the picture?
hehe
duh smoke....
that aft tho some weird catch up wit me old frens
and then the last day
my bro showered first and bought us breafast
then headed for shopping one last time
make me mum reli hapi
not gona go into tt tho..
as i have mention
i dun brag bt me money
n dun understand those hu do cept they lack it
haha
piti them huh
niwaez
my mum out now...
tink have to cook now
and then start on me storybook...
ouh yea
tt nite en we sneaked out....
went over to the lounge
haha
happenin
nad this dumb drunk fat dude stuck wit the dancers
hahs
who seemed to wear
we.ll
close to nutin reli
but haiz
old fags partyg....haha
ok
gtg cook now.....hungry soon
bubye
missin u baby
see u online tonite.!!!

2009-02-10T00:33:00.002+08:00

finally i'm back!!!
darn it should have brought my laptop over too
apparrently premier room has free internet access.
but even if i did wouldn't fit in azft all that shopping
anyhuusss...

i tot of extending my stay in penang...
do more shopping
gt my neccessitties here
it's cheaper with the special products i have to use
but i guess dun have to wait ..
will just buy everytin in penang

anihow
dun tink wana miss another annivesary
as i am typing now
my love is over at dempsey wit his good pal finishg wadever i started

now i js got off the phone wit my baby ..
ok i'm sori
will change slowly kk....

gng to head downstairs for the gym wit me mum agn tmr...
after that thinking of actually doin things that i've written down to dos
so i cn actuali cross off more.
hehe
so far onli like one???

one more thing..
baby
hang on in thr
hehe
its js a dream dun let them pull u down k
i'm always here for u...

i love Hayden Panettiere now...
random..
aniwaez cnt wait u come here baby
we'll shop till we drop kk
if i haven drop i'll more before meetg u back at spore
hehe
well tts all for now
muacks!!

2009-02-03T02:25:00.002+08:00

damn i didn't realise that the day after i left fr penang was or annivesary....
well it's been a rush..

the nite before actually we spent like whole day together...
the nite before that i spent whole nite with his family...
at first i dreaded the plan of bowling but went aniwaez
turned out
i'm quite good actuali
onli dreaded it possibly bc i mite have sucked previously and well
my dad loves to embarrass me
had a goood time

proceeded wit spending time wit him at hm
cooked for him
aww
and the best part he said it was gttg more delicious!!!
hehe

and watched tv and then i js couldn't sleep but watched his handsome face sleeping beautifully
so missed the morning flight despite rushing
rescheduled for the afternoon flight

upon reaching the driver picked me
went for dinner
hehe
hugged and kissed my mum
said i'm gttg smaller
hello mum
possibly bc u weren't there to cook everyday
so yea
sempat buy two shoes that amounted to a price whereby my mum forbade me to buy more
hehe

feel really sucky
i mean
at the time i spent the nite playg bowling with his family and then
dinner or more like that of a breakfast
i missed my family in penang...
so i couldn't wait to reunite wit them
at the same time
him sending me made it all the more difficult to leave

his constant teasing
that at times drove me mad
only to be cooled down
by his charming laughter that melts me
our little silly arguments
that triggers laughter

gosh i rellliiiiiiiiiii miss u my love
also
i have tot of what had happened
once i'm back i relli wanna survive what i have promised u
like u said
shopping as a motivation rite?
well i wanna put it aside and get the new me
and accomplish what i've always wanted and what my dad say he'd give..

gosh i need a spa n massage badly...
most of all
even if i met u n we cudn't kiss
i long for even a hug,
a peck on me cheeks
and the look on ur eyes
when they meet mine
as i tell u how much i've missed u and love u

haiz
hati i berat
the more u say how much your missing me keeps u awake
the more the memory of watching u sleep beautifully
plays in my mind
like spoilt video tape that js couldn't stop...
please be strong for me
so that i could also master the strength to be strong over here
in penang
i also hope that our pictures together that u nvr seem to not look at
to be your company at heart
not ruining you
making u weaker
i need you to be strong in this ok
bc i forsee that
this would not be my last time coming over here..
i love you
i forgive you
i hope in turn u do too
and if u relli love me tt much
pls remember to tc urself while i'm gone...
i really love u
i really do too miss you...
till tmr
here are my virtual much kisses and hugs to you..
remember i'm also constantly missing you...
muacks.........

2009-01-19T14:09:00.002+08:00

i'm soooo content...
haha
omg
cnt believe it

niwaez some are blind but i see reality
irony
that's what i've come across to appreciate
what i love bt myself i nvr contradict myself
and for one thing
i've brag what i have
big mistake....

aniwaez
i'm so gona have fun
meetin my fiance in penang when he goes there
my mum's surprisingly reli approve my guy
well he'll pick me up from my home there at gurney...

if u guys duno
it's like orchard houses in malaysia
well
yea
i'm gona jetski agn ya'll

haha
still remember rites aft i wen to emergency ward in the hospital
still had the guts to go jetski
hah
wtr...

cnt wait to taste my mommies cooking
and go on a shopping spree agn
sssssss
ok i noe wad u tinking ya'll
wtr....

well it's js so swell!!!!
gona have fun before another long stretch of school...haiz
perhaps some spa and swim too
lots of fresh air since the beach is rite infront of the hse...

hmm
me vacation hse
tempteed?
dun be
hehe
bubye for now

2009-01-14T11:28:00.002+08:00

he is a chicken shit
omg i cnt believe he prasan i care
wen he the one ask my opinion
haha

get a life
n like dun fight other ppl's battle if u wana sae that to him
and bitch
i have no prob wit u yea
i noe u jealous
sori cnt help u
u started staring first so i have rites too

nvr commented anitin personal bt u
but yea
face the fact look in the mirror
u dun noe me
i dun fight over dicks
u aint special
other gurl shiok sendiri bitch

n i'm not coming to confront one hu dares onli look at me in groups
and blog shits

zaky
dun prasan
i have no probs huever u're datg
haha
dude get over urself u're not worth my time...
haha
u're pathetic chicken out and twisting werds and telling pple off wen u're doin it
dun interfere????
leave me the fuck alone then

n bitch
dun wori
i wun stare or lay in finger tho u cn js bounce me off wit ur fats
n stop staring at me guy
i noe u js wish
ok
plus
i'm mixed blood wad do u care
yes i have masaleh blood
so fuck u
stop kepoin wadeva i do wit my life n start fucking up ur own life

i ain't gonna bother
i tried askin u guys to meet in person
but u wanna hide behind ur stupid screen
n dun!!!
bring up myguy u slut
he has a prob wit my ex
dun prasan
the world does not revolve ard ur fat ass
kk

EMPTY VESSELS MAKES THE MOST NOISE
so
i wun bother aft this
my eyezs are sore lookin ur tummy yg berlipat
n u bergelek2 ur babat infront me
btw
try covering up ur ass
stop flashing ur buttcrack minah
opps
said it agn
sori i aint the onli one hu tot so
zaki laughed too
opps
kk
won leak out wad he said kk

so shut the fuck up

2009-01-06T01:10:00.002+08:00

damn i skipped the first day of school agn..
hehe
i sent my folks n sis to the airport two days ago
now i am officially on my own
luckily i do have my baby....
one of the bigggest reason next to my education that i stayed for

on countdown
i spent the time with my baby
i cannot believe that a year has passed
with very much difference in my life

the very next day
i told my mum i'd spend the day with my beloved darling
hehe
damn i should have kept my mouth shut instead of prying from him
hehe
so yea
we made our way to carousel
ate and had supper st macs at airport aft buyg books
haha
dun frown
orchard was alredi packed

my mum called
she was like "tkder keje lain kat arport?"
haha
i was like
"entah la rudi nie la"
haha
he got shy

i had a great dinner my love
it was a good surprise

so yea
tmr i'll have to be on time actuali

now that i'm on my own
i've so much to do
some changes around the hse to suit meself
some shopping to do
and a lot more..

well
that's all for now...
muacks

2008-12-26T03:43:00.002+08:00

perhaps you came in at the wrong time..

or so it seemed..

i gave you clouds of me

yet you saw through it

only those meant to be could

and it cut me like a knife

and spun me round

to look closer then i thought to....

it dawned to me then..

perhaps you were sent to show me

how it is to be loved as how i love

it was then i knew

i tried and tried

worked hard

to see that charming smile of yours...

that i now know why those gurls look at you lost

yet i still feel like i nvr did enuf

i now tell you my love...

i hope i have worked hard enough

i feel i have given my all to love you with every mite in me

i really do hope

you can feel it thru ur surprises

lol even throughout ur moodswing

gosh i think i'm writing this way because i just miss you too much

i tink also i'm mite go back i wit my folks

i'm still tryg to convince them

i js love you so much

muacks!!

2008-12-25T01:46:00.002+08:00

damn my week here i'm not adjusting well....

i miss my baby

cnt wait to get back

any surprises?

nahh

shldn't expect much..

still one yr annivasary..

i love u baby

dun wori me aites

i'm recovering soon

my fever has subsided

soon

we'll meet together

and spend time together

i wonder how soon that is...

haiz

no mood now...

shall update more later...

muaks love!

2008-12-21T01:19:00.002+08:00

well here i am in Penang

in this new hse

omg

it triple the size of my hse in Singapore...

aniwaez

before i go on about this

i'd like to say baby pleasing you is pretty hard!!

gosh haha

all i wanted to do was surprise u honey

hhaha

made that pretty diff

was surprised u dun get much hint

usually u pick up on the slightest bit

so ok

well

i thought of sticking to my word

no hotel for your bdae treat

but i cudn't help myself

so yea

it was a white lie

i'm sori a lil bit if u were some how or rather a lil uncomfortable with the ambience ok..

so yea

then later on we went of o jb

i had a lil insight of how your daily topping up

or every other day of topping up goes..

then

the next dae pretty mush slept

conserved the energy for vibes..

which was a total fun btw

i wish they play more regae n hiphop

less on the hse music a lil

so yea

rushed him to be there on time

cos i msged and got some favours from asykal

the rapper was to wish him bdae

the rapping was to end at 9.30

so yea then reaching there we got bit lost

we weren't clear of the place and instead had to walk further away from clarke quay

we had a lil tiff during ttt

so he wanted to park the bike near by n js drop me off

of coz by now u guys noe

my fren is not the reason i was rushing

yea

then even wen we entered the club he was like indifferent wit me u noe

haha

pushed his face to face the rapper a couple of times

imagine the adrenaline rush when the rapper stopped the music exclusively

to give a bdae wish exclusively to my dear fiance from me

called him up the stage

n boi was my baby like wad??

i was like dun look at me i didn't go that far to embarass u

so yea he went up n all

haha

tt does it

didn't reli need to pujuk himm...

haha

hiz

damn cudn't be here for u baby

but u work on ur bdae niwaez

i wonder are ur family celerbrating ur bdae alongside with the december babies as of now?

i wonder

btw baby u mite wonder y i'm not on the msn?

usin my sis laptop

tts rite

she's this damn macbook at 5000 ringit plus

haiz

not fair

i missin u baby

i feel like coming bck earlier baby

u'll get to know from my bro yea?

speaking of which

this hse is luxury...

haiz

but

well

witout u

even so in this luxury

where spa n pool is just a lift away

n shopping with money that seems to flow like water.

i feel empty

i feel it more statifying

this hse to be a holiday in for me

n singapore

to be my land of freedom

to do wad

as n wen i like it

not to go completely wild but

well

with my folks ard

everything needs an explanation

n truth at times reli takes a lot more to convince them then do lies

i'm not feeling well at the current moment

but don't wori sugarbumps

i've got me mommy to take care of meself

well will update more soon ....

its late now

i love you sugarbumps...

pls tc urself kk

dun speed!!!

pls think of me the moment it tempts u to...

muacks

i hope the surprises do least to console u

memories to serve u wen u feel alone on ur bdae and wen u miss me

memory that'll bring smiles to your swit face upon recalling it..

love u lots

missin u lots...

muacks my darling...

2008-12-14T20:20:00.003+08:00

my life has taken a new turn...
my mum and sis have flown over to penang for an official stay there..
my bro as usual for now is over at his girlfren's..
me...

well
going to jb later wit fiance..
topup his fuel then i dunno

aniwaez
this thur's headin on to vibes'
aniwaez
i gotta sae life without parents really is bit lonely
yea they're bit controlling
or overbearing
but you know
having people
someone that could nag till you feel like you need to take a break from them
but at the end of the day
when the house is so silent
and you're all alone
you're yearn for their companion
their constant reminder filled with advice
relatives around can advice
with similar good intentions
but they aren't the same

aniwaez...
so this upcoming bdae of my sis
possibly i mite not be able to make it
haiz
well
my brother's not gona e able to make it too from his work
i'lll make it up to her next school hols of mine...
well got to go....

2008-12-08T00:56:00.002+08:00

I'm soooooooooo hapi!!!
hehe
cant wait till my fiance's bdae come
hmm
shit
i still dunno wad to buy for him
nvm2
i tink i noe
haiz
cnt believe my mum seriously trust me n him
come back late also
she'l be like
ok

damn my batt's low
ok2
from now on
on his off days
weekend
we'll be out together late..

like tonite tooo
niwaez
js an updte to tell ya'll
i dun get y i got all mad
hmm

not worth my time
aft all
went shopping like mad
my life cnt be any better
ignorence is a bliss
after all
it takes a lady to noe one
n i'm one
so
to hell wth those low self-esteem bitches rite guys
hahah
i noe my self worth than to fret over trivial pests
i'm onli so hapi
to noe my guy doesn't control me
the perfect guy i've always looked for

those who cnt get me or be me
are like mother hens
like her
haha
make noise my fiance says
but onli dare to when in grps
well
wad the hell
I love Rudi!!!!!!!!

hhs
hope u dun blush wen u see this honey
cnt wait till i celerbrate ur bdae....
n our one yr annevasary to come..
wonder wad u'll have in mind..

romantic dinner...
beach...
spa?
haha..
kidding cnt stand nione touch u but me
muacks!!!
gosh my mum doesn't even kol me wen i'm wit u till the wee hrs of the morn
unlike wen i was wit other exs

muacks!!

2008-12-07T11:12:00.003+08:00

GOD!
i wish pple knew.....
what the actual reason was
i've kept quiet coz i respect him whom i was wit for 3 yrs
things he's done
things he've said
i've taken it all in the three years
his frens...
dun even mention it
they noe what some of what he's done
yet they side him for the sake of siding their fren

so aniwaez here's the deal...
since then i've still kept mum when he fitnah me on his blog
now
so many times
gurls liking him
disturb me
for no apparent reason
i've had enuf!!
so here it goes...

first of all
when he toks to me
he noes his mistakes i've tolerated for 3 freaking years!!!
kk minah
he cheated on me
he fitnah me on the blog
lied on his bdae-that he was sick wen he was js too lazy to go out
i didn't eat or drink whole dae i went out wit his bf to buy him presents
which later on the dae didn't reli appreciate much
if u wana sae i went aft money n transportation
i met my tunang aft a yr of my relationship wit aky ok!
i cud have left him then
n
if u sae money
i nvr berkire
paid for his clothes
his specs
his shoes
sandals
cologne
ciggarettes
n still i cud hav brought tt up
during the relationship
bt i didn't
dun believe???
go ahead ask him
i gave him clothes from christian dior
tommy hilfiger
whatever the brand is
dun believe?
go ahead ask him

come on
i dun care hu ever he dates
he sakit hati
i'm finally hapi
i'm wit someone hu
unlike him
makes me hapi witout spending on me like u tink he is
nvr lie to me

n u noewad
wen aky was wit me
his eyes always are at other gurls
nvr once i cheated on him
come on tink gurl tink
u're not the onli gurl aft he's broken up wit me
that he's told his cock n bullshit to
ok
i found out he chetedand lied all on his bdae
wad do i do
i still wanted to celerbrate his bdae
wad he does?
he doesn't even wana open the door for me n his fren
he wasn't an inch sick
aft tt
he had dinner and met his frens...
he even flirted n had a crush on his bestie gurl..
i cn do better than stoppin here
ranting on how much i took..

i tried to be nice to u gurl
k
wen u alone tk brani face me
maki hamun me onli wen u're further away from me?
tt's a minah's character ok
u reli hate me coz of the bullshit tt he sold to most gurl he tried to get wit aft me?
tell me off in person
one on one
nicely as a mature adult
n plus he told u i kol n tell him tis tat bt u?
n he was hurt?
he prob told u he told me off or sumtin?
pwuess
he told me he wanted to meet me
to talk
kk
he missed me
he'll deny all these..
but wadeva
i'm tired
if u're reli not a minah
u wud have dressed better
talked nicer
n not maki wen u're a distance away from me
wad i do wit my life
is non of ur bisnes
wad he told u i'm gttg married in 2 yrs or sumtin?
pls..
i have plans
u guys reli js immature
dun assume u noe everythin k
assumption is the mother of all fucking screw up
like how i assumed aky was leastdecent guy not to twist werds
n i noe sometings he told me k
n elo
i dun care hu he wana be wit
he came to me for my opinion
n tol me all this bull
bt waiting till i marry then he'll leave
but i'm not telling on him bt u
tt ur prob
hope u guys are hapi
seein both are same
in character
n aky
u noe i told u i try to be nice wit her
till her character like ttt
but u left me no choice
msg u to mit up to clear tings up
but i guess
U GUYS R A FUCKING COWARDS RITE
if ure not
wana noe the truth
brani buat brani tangung
aky n u sucy mit me n my tunang
yes i mentioned ur name
aft skul
we'll tok like adults
damn i js wan u guys to leave me fuckin alone
not like sum minah screaming worst of things
laughing immature yps
haix
js leave me alone stop telling pple bullcock
unless u noe everytin
n btw
wad issit bt dicks?
huh
damn gurl
u're sleepg wit him?
haha
not hapi?
now u noe wad i mean
js wish u guys hapi days together
js leave me fucking alone n stop the fitnah
argh why do i bother
U GUYS ARE FUKING COWARDS

2008-11-28T08:37:00.002+08:00

Today slept over at my bestie's house..
woke up damn early!!
came to skul damn early!!!
haha

well least would be good.
for once not am i only on time but actually half an hr early!!
tried delaying walking to skul and everytin
didn't work
haha

hmmm
we've showered naked together wit her before seeing how her life was like
haha
ok2 pple
dun get the wrong idea....
we went cycling together once
to east coast
swimming and all
she n her bf
me n my fiance
so well
damn
est coast only had open shower...
and the stupid bangla kept coming in n out of the lladies
obviously js so he cud catch some deperate glimpse of us gurls showering
but we weren't totally naked
God!
there kids ard n even a signboard that says so we cudn't
haha

so yea
we saw each other clad only in our undies n bra
haha
n she was like wow
haha
damn her!!
i was like
are u sure uain't lesbian?
i wud understand u noe
hahahahah

so yea
early bird for anisah today..
mite be joining her at sentosa wit her another bestie
we'll see
if it's too late
most prob
js at vivo
before heading over to her hse agn

boy did my guy got a bit jealous
haha
well basically
bc she has two older brothers
her parents weren't at hm..
but her grandma was
js that the older one is more peramah( very friendly)
so i was like
come on baby
they're both attached
haha

friendly..
the brother was like nite ladies
haha
hmm..
the younger one is shy tho
i said
n he was more of glimpse n minding his own business
ouh welll...

i'm hungry..
well toodles!!
will update soon aft this i reckon...

2008-11-24T16:02:00.003+08:00

sometimes i have this nasty feeling
i just need to lash out!!!!!
put pple talking bt me to place

at times i know better then to bother all these
that are equivilent to the plague that gets stuck at times in between your teeth
that you just need to plug it out
and throw it away

haha
gosh
what a bitch right
haiz
hmm
i js wish i cud be a bitch
but then
i was brought up better than that..
hmm
well
life wudn't be fun
witout drama huh
haha
well
haiz
hope i'll be happy...

2008-11-24T10:45:00.004+08:00

Past two weeks have been hectic for me
with my folks not around and all
damn brother is in his own world...

thr burden of all the laundry and dishes were left for me to be doing it
coz he's always not at home

sleeping over at my aunt's was ok...
considering i had to get back early
haiz
for now
i only have my mum for about a week

if ya'll thinking wads tis all abt?
well my folks and my younger sis are moving into penang
leaving me alone wit my brother
god

cnt wait till he goes ns
n learn to mature a lil
sori bro

oh damn
then the bills and everytin i have to handle
well least they payed my grandfather's maid to clean up my hse
would n't have the time to

gosh after some things i've found..
i really hate the fact that s'pore is just really toooo small
damn!!!
ugh
have to see all those ugly bitches ard...
goodluck to u guys..
hope u noe who **** reli is

niwaex...
gota get to skul ealier
feel crappy when
i reach skul like late...

other than that
life is basically for now full of suprises i'd rather blind my eye on
ugh
and stressful
yes
when is it not rite?
whatever lives we live out...

darn my lil cuz had to point out my ring...
n then my aunt was like sarcasticaly sayg
that when i marry
i'l obviously have a big rock compared to this one...

tsk3
when is my driving going to move???
cnt seem to book it ...
full..
damn the moment i have the chance
i'll get the pdl and finish it once n for all

happy times

2008-10-13T14:50:00.003+08:00

I noticed that it has been a long time since i updated my blog.
There's been a lot going on
My mum's bdae celebration at swensens
HAah
went last minute buy a hamper of crabtree lotion,bodywash and hand lotion
freaknig cost me
well
not everyday my mum turns 45
well went out yrt till midnite or so

SO MUCH FUN!!!!!
went out with my guy's frens raye at one of his bike fren's hse first at bukit panjang
wen off to escort the bride and groom
on bike
in twos!!!
its was cool for the first time
got wet in the mid way
otw to tamp
well we got blow dried after tat
coz all went damn fast

then we head of to meet up wit is
haha
happens that my hse was first
and a lot of my relatives came
with all the babies!!!1
haha
well sori baby
you are a charmer with babies
but not for one tho
hehe
sori baby
she's picky
and she prefers manja then playing
plus she was sick darl

aniwaez
was js a blast
first time
first raye
first real man
haha
ok2
yall going omg...

well
bz having fun and studying hard!!!
basically had a blast this time round.
and a united class
and a happy life
with my folks accepting my fiance
and this wek
spending with his folks instead!!1
his sis invited me over for the celebration of both their folks.

sigh..

2008-10-03T14:30:00.002+08:00

sigh...
yes that's how i'll start my entry...

a day before raye helped my mum cook and cleaning..
by night i am at geylang..
my luck it had to rain
since then i've been feeling unwell
cough...
asthma...
haiz
i suspect i've got viral infection agn..
i mean raining n cold on the bike..
it happens this way always...

i'm amazed myself i could make it for school today..
this sunday going jb..
visit my uncle and his adorable kids!!

bit different raye for me this yr...
wow my kuzzen are having babies like one after another...
had fun first day
put one to sleep and then slept right beside him
haha
haiz now headache planning the rayes...

like nxt sun i am cookg!!!
haha
two of my fiance's fav dishes...
CNT WAIT!!!

wad i noe

2008-09-27T13:37:00.003+08:00

haiz...
wad a tiring day it has been for me....
sori my love i made u tired..
you know u'll be working all the way straight n i js have to spend a s much time with u so as to not miss u too much...

you know these few day i can see how much you're guiding me through all these...
sometimes
good people js reli nvr go unpunished
but karma nvr goes away to those who deserve it
but wad i noe ....
at long last i have found the one i deserve.....
muacks!!!!

a little bit of that bitter chocolate

2008-09-26T11:44:00.001+08:00

Another thursday pass by again
yet i cannot get enough of those thursdays
if only every other day was a thursday

the people that i meet up with here are not ordinary
they bring my life to seem like the fairytale
this blog of mine i make it that way too
but as many would noe
life is never without it's dark alleys
where even the light of eurphoria would not light it up
any most depressing poem of a suicide would not describe it at best
where homicide i say
can be a mercy death...

haiz
you'd probably wonder why this dark entry
a thorn amongst the roses of my beautiful happy entries....

well...
thats y i wished every other day i wish it were a thursday
where my deepest darkest secret can be told
where upon confiding
judgement will be far from it
where my life has been a erbal diary to
these two people i cherish
who can bring the best out of me
when i'm down and out
ice and is
their names are

it is thanks to them
i see the true light in him
in rudi
it is to their credit
that i have come out of the alleys
facing my fears
facing what i call my years of folly
years of blindness
years of co-dependency
where when i fell
no safety net was holding me

you would be confused now
aren't i a happy person
my god anisah
u seemed such a jolly person
quiet at times
pondering
but we nvr seem to gt tt part
but jolly at best at most times.....

well i have come a long way to this
haha
i remember in my old days
where my phrase for the day was always
"i hide my sadness, i noe thats bad"

see guys...
My Golden Rule when i started blogging
was NVR WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING I HATE
one- shorter miserable life
two-i do not ever want to regret saying things i might find too trivial to hurt others
three-happy things means happy thought and hopefully meaning wishing away bad thought, bad memories

let them talk
let them think of me as such
what's clear is my bestfriends
they know
god sees it all
i pray to you
i pray that my life will stay this enlightened
as i see every human being
from all walks of life
of all kinds

if only they knew
if only they knew
tapi apakn daya
hanya tuhan maha mengetahui

PAIN TO ME IS LIKE BITTER CHOCOLATE
IT'S BITTER
ITS AN AQUIRED TASTE
YET ITS ADDICTIVE
AND IT'S KNOWN TO BE GOOD FOR THE HEART

i guess i would have to say
if i hadn't suffered
how else would i have seen that he's the ONE?
the one who would forgive me more than humanly possible?
walk me through that dark alley to see it for myself
set aside his heart felt pain
this man
this man i took to be a fool
but i now see
i was the fool
not to see the man he all along was
that bitter chocolate was good
but nevertheless
should not take too much of it
it was he who told me my love....
it'll spoil the your taste
your hunger for other things in life

now that my years of folly and deceptions...
seen all sort of humans....
let them be
let them be
no that i have found you my love.
one i now pray let us
be as one forever
i'l aniting for u
i'll be cooking for u this coming raye
even my mum teases me
hehe
i guess
she js waiting to see you this raye..
hehe
so is you parents?
hehe
i tink she'll be monitering
remember how she scolded me for taking your chicken?
hehe
lets get her scolding!!!
muacks!!

a real happy new year for nur...

2008-09-24T09:22:00.002+08:00

This year raya is a whole new beginning for me ...
For the first time i am not just attched...
I am engaged ....
wow...
i still feel awed that i am taking this big step...
hheh
we're already having plans....
now that i know his folks like me...
i'm at ease.
she even asked wad color we're wearing this year..
hehe
that'll be red
ok you come i'll cook for u tt spaghetti tt u've been craving for eversonce my birthdae..
hehe
tot u wanted my rendang...
nvm...
i'm never parting from this beautiful diamond ring u proposed to me baby..
hehe

this year:
1) finally found the ONE
2)got into the course i've wanted
3) found new friends..
4)turned my last teen....i noe u're waitg for me to turn twenty bg...hehe
5)got the most loveliest gifts of diamond earings, swavorski crytal ring,pearl earring,pearl bangles , and last but loveliest a different scent from my "hubby"..
6)met my in laws to be
7)passed my ftt and my basic theory js once each
8)MY MUM ACCEPTS MY DARLING
9)found real good bestfriends
10)MY FRIENDS ALL REALLY THIS TIME LOVE SOMEONE WHO I LOVE SO DEARLY
11)KNOW HOW IT IS LIKE TO BE IN A SECURE AND MATURE RELATIONSHIP

darling this year we naik kereta eh
hehe
i know u emphatise with my feet walking on four inches high-heels
hehe

what i want for next year:
1) TEMPAH BAJU WITH HIM
2)get him the tunang gift
3)sticking to mac makeup
4)finish up estee lauder lipsticks ....too many scared expired...hehe
5)join yoga
6)still stay in contact with is...
7) still thinking up a lot more....will update when i have lol

well for now i misssssssssssssssssss u abg!!!!!!!!!

catched up with an old friend

2008-09-17T10:57:00.004+08:00

ytr was a last min plan
chatted with hadi
lupe2nyer
hehe
i msged the wrong person
my bad

so yea met him at simpang bedok
rudi was like u're always there with me
this time they see u wit a different guy
wad wud they think?
lol
hmm
that got me thinking
but like so what right
so long as the fact of the matter is that he's got a gf
and i've got a fiance
lol

yea
so we catched up a lot
he said he likes eatg wit gurls
coz us gurls dun eat much
haha
yea
true2

went bck early
tanahmerah interchange toilet are scary!
well that's that
got my mum to like send me to school
at first i asked my dad
but he ended up sleeping
so yea
well that's all for now

my luck!!!

2008-09-16T08:43:00.003+08:00

My fiance was supposed to fetch me to send me to school...
Nvm i see he's tired . Probably slept straight sahur
Ouh yea!!!...
hehe
tot y bother to blog on a morning of my school
i passed my final theory people!!!
hehe
tot i needed luck in that
passed both theory once..not bad for me huh
thanks to my guy for tt book of questions..
have had no time to like book e-trial test...

now all i have to do is to manage driving lessons like once every week
have to apply for the pdl too
haiz
hope , js reli hope i wouldn' t get those real cheeky instructors to like teach me
first lesson - i had a chinese guy-ok-try to get me relaxed
second lesson- butch-real frenly
gosh is js me or they really genuinely ask a lot of personal questions??
especially the guy
least i didn't get no cheeky malay guy
lol
wud have been entertaining and funny though

well gtg...bubye

thanks to ramli!!!

2008-09-11T15:04:00.002+08:00

Gosh!!!!!!!!!!
ok i was going to write in ytr but forgot about it
well yea
ytr my classmates and i finally opened up to each other..

so you noe wad?>
not only did they think i was not local by the way i talk
some thought i wasn't a muslim...
others thought i was not a malay
ok
fine
but you know wad??/
they thought i was a philipino.!!!
ok so well i got attention from like most from the class curious wanting to know my mixture
ROJAK!!!
hehe

well dats tt
cant wait for todae!!!
heading for class aft this ...
Isnarti's buying the cakes finally
to celebrate the belated bdaes for all of us
she's been talking how delicious it is
cnt wait till breaking fast...

cant wait evenmore for tmr!!!!
double date !!!
we're gona head to geylang
for me aft school so he's gona pick me up
so gona like dress up
hmmm...sumtin comfortable and not hot but yet dress up look...
lets see
yea
worse come to worse
we're gona have ramlis and continue shopping!!
gosh have to find him a samping coz slamat(his sis bf doesn't reli seem confident in finding it)

meanwhile
aft this
gona head to do my stuff
then head to causeway
buy the ramlis or sumtin
and breakfast at simei...

this yr raye is so gona be different
haiz
lets see how it could be fun?
hmmm....
thanks to ramli
it like macdonalds in malay way
fast food to go!!!
but much2 better and more delicious
wonder y they nvr go global wit it?

wad a dae

2008-09-05T15:18:00.002+08:00

ytr i woke up late
so i called my guy to send me
upon reaching the opposite block of school i decided no way was i going to school
and rudi was like it's only the second day of school
yes second day of school
but a dreadful second day honey
my class is practically a bore

anyhow this was how my day went
he called up his mum and said we were coming his house
we dropped my stuff and went to the polyclinic to tend to his foot problem

yea2
ya'll probably think an mc to cover his night shift?
no ya'll
his foot has been bothering him for four months he put up with it!!!
haiz so we got the referral

that alone took like half the day
we then made our way to his house
i then helped a little bit in the cooking and that was when his dad came home..
jeng3
so he was like
eh since when did i employ a maid?
gosh

then eating time
i straight off started to scoop the rice for my love
before that i was eatg my dates
guess wth happened!!!
it FELL INTO THE BOWL OF LEMAK CHILLI PADI!!!!!
i was like OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my baby was like it's ok and scooping it up and i insisted on using a different spoon
haiz
just my luck
then i was gona eat this little piece of chickn
wen it flew to the ground!
my day cudn't be worse
haiz
as usual
his dad was like
thr's been a lot of accidents lately on this table for tonight
gosh
god help me i js sat blushing into my plate
then rush of to wash the plates

So that's that
my first and most embarrassing encounter during my first break fast time with his family..
hmm....

a day of happenings in the fasting month

2008-09-05T10:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes i'm still a gurl who cries with vurnebilities

2008-09-03T15:57:00.003+08:00

I thought since my friends have officailly declared this blog dead might as well....

Then things happened..
happy things first...
cnt believe bought my kebaye already!!! it was on the third day of raye and i js walked into the shop and my sis and i walked out with new clothes...well least me
hers was to be altered...

myb'dae nvr tot anyone remember..
then agn i'm wrg...
zaki gave me box with a vase and flowers in it...lovely..
zaki wished me bdae almost to midnite...my last teen bdae..lol
then i said out loud wait its 12 01
so my siblings went on singing bdae song for me
swit things...
then my fiance made it up to me with a perfect dae..
surprised me with my present ...another lovely escada..smells so good and i'm nvr allergic to it
then we went eatg ..and window shopping at geylang ...hmm....we could buy matchg outfits?

baby i'm sori pls dun be mad for wad i'm abt to sae

first of all
i sincerely apologise zaki...
i still am conviced if passerby wasn't your school mate at the very least or a gurl u been seein
js that how did she noe how u loook so i still doubt a little
but then agn until proven guilty with paramount evidence ...
i apologise to cause u stress..u dun normally blow up

baby as of now if u still think i am trusting my ex more than u pls dun
i'm a woman of facts
and facts as of now is too scarce to prove he's guilty
this whole stupd prank is causing inconvenience...
perhaps u mite have broken some gurl;s heart u cud remember that mite go on a revenge on u?

rudy my love
i use to be frustrated by all these stupid msgs and calls by ur ex
js wanted to put her in her place...
now i see it ur way
so i'm ok
go change ur number

and well all these commotion's exhaust me
and i'm in this condition
and i've got all the symptoms
of a gurl wit a broken heart
and no matter wad i'll js nvr give that easily up..
love in reality is not a bed of roses
not a fairytale
it's abt working hard at it
and that i am willing to

wen are you my love gona let go
i've let go of my insane mission to revenge
perhaps if you would then someday see my bigger pic ?
i'm with you now
doesn't matter she disturbs us and doesn't get over etc

i'm js saying let it go my love and love me more pls?
dun u see i'm craving for u to and to love me with all ur attention?

love nur

KHALED HOSSEINI

2008-07-24T15:26:00.002+08:00

i'm midway through my storybook i js bought recently
strange though
it used to be me dragging my family to the bookstore anywhere we go
then my brother got interested in some davinci code book
which sparked off his passion for reading
slowly exploring the different genres
to see how it does not have to be mysteries to be interesting
then my sister....
anything sadistic would do for her..

so we were in the airport after sending my dad off
all three of us searched for the bookstore at terminal 2
we took the sky train from terminal 3 btw
at midnite!!!
imagine tt i tot the bookstore would be closed by then

so all three of us walked in rite and all three of us walked out with books of our choice!!!
imagine the different genres of books now available in my house
in the bookshelf
besides the collection of harry potter of coz!!
which reader would not have tem they're like the muast haves

yea so yall should read books written by KHALED HOSSEINI
he's only written two books so far
his first book every published is called " the kite runner"
fantastic book
but not for the easily weak-hearted tho
currently tho i am reading " a thousand splendid suns"
fabulous
nutin to fancy
just very captivsting
so captivating it is one of those books i can barely put down except to alight a bus

cant wait to pass this on to my fiance...
well gtg now
read on wads to come in this book of mine

Last night

2008-07-21T15:12:00.002+08:00

haha
last night my mum freaked out seeing the ring
lol
wadeva
niwaez

good for her
too overprotective already over me
and my sis was like
duh
she's freaking 19 ma

i mean yea
my folks dated my age and then got married not long after
and like ouh it was different back then
yea rite

niwaez
come on they know i'm a smart gurl
i'm not naive
and plus
they know they cnt do nuts to change my mind once i've made up my mind
add up to it
also wen i'm silent

take that
god!!!
stupd boi..
pls
he will nvr ever come close to me
if ever my mum speaks of him agn
i'm gng down!!!!

there's only one man for me
and hopefully things will get smother ffrom now on
the road to togetherness

2 more weeks to freedom!!!!
from this stinking place!!!
full of stiking hypocrites, naive, childish children..

haiz
life
niwaez....
gosh got a lot to do this year
all i'll accomplsh!!!

insya' allah...

boring dae

2008-07-16T14:49:00.002+08:00

To be engaged for quite sometime now i can only sae it is different.....

As ya'll noticed i changed my blogskin...finally haha
well i miss my guy

Wonder if i made a second impression enough to this particular faci todae
wonder wad grade i'll get
i dunno
todae's topic was pretty tough

have nutin much else to sae
shows how boring today is

haiz

pretty boys...hmm...

2008-07-12T18:06:00.004+08:00

it is sad sometimes knowing that a lot of goods things comes to an end
but i guess that's life
certains things cnt be the way you'd want it to be

but i guess my life in my case would be a lot of things actually aren't my way
not the way i'd want it to be

and i go through life thinking a lot of things about a lot of things

well
niwaez
pretty boys...
many of my friends like them
have crushes on them
get all weak around them
all blushed around them

here's one strange thing bt me tho
there are pretty boys interested in me
its js either i'm wit my bro at tt pt of time
or they thought i was too stuck up for them to approach me

i admit
i am one of those whose faces looks stuck up
IF i dun smile
aniwaez
so
they're cute rite
eye catching rite

but no
not for me
not my cup of tea
yea personality surpasses everything
yea tt's how i search for the significant other
i nvr tot i'd feel rite with them

besides the pt of coz tey could cheat
but i'm js not atracted to them

i like big guys
ones with manly feel wen i look at them
also i like tall

so yea
also i take a very long time reli liking and trusting someone
believe me my fiance would tell u so

and for those guys out there
hu think tt gurls like me are throphies to work hard for with words or money
to then hold and showcase to ur pals
think it thru!!!!
yea especially those hu have been n think i'm as such
heello
do i look like a barbie doll to u??
huh
wassup wit the stone throwing in the nite at my window??

and i wish i cud tell my mum
haiz
doesn't mean my ex was some caucasian pretty boy
i like them
hello
he was the one askg me
n plus
wad wud u do wen he grows old?
wud u still imagine his young face in bed?
wud u still reminisce his good looks back then ?

all in all
i js wan a simple guy
who makes me feel like i'm the only one he looks at
one hu wudn't chose skanks over me
one hu wudn't stare at sum gurl's bare bck and deny like he was innocent
one hu'd do anitin for me
hu's frens are not more impt than me
one hu does not take advantage of me
one hu's not a coward

js glad i dun have to go ard searching no more

a hard day for me

2008-07-09T09:46:00.003+08:00

Man today is not so bad as it seems..ok it is crap my mum's gona pick me up
not enough i have to see her home everyday....

my hp got confiscated...
haha
but i've got another better hp
better one at that...
well hope her not knowing would lasts too...

but this hard time with my fiance have let me see him in a different way..
you know you can always talk and then when it comes to the real thing..
i've known lots of people in y life who no matter wad talk
they were all talk but no action
they would just runaway from their responsibility....

pause...

just presented
went to cwp for lunch with halimah and nafisah and my fiance..
went to smoke in the carpark after that when his sis fren came by..
they talked bike stuff
came back..

the faci for todae is pretty strict....
i'm gona purposely do my rj to delay..
hmmm....

i think i'm gona stay home to study this weekend...
gosh just realised have bout less then 3 months to o levels...

need to mug my way through now
tmr gona be a bz day for me..
well we'll see....

ciao

recalls

2008-07-08T11:09:00.002+08:00

On Sunday met nisa and introduced my fiance to her....
upon returning to his bike to send him off before heading elsewhere...
a grp of mats was like staring at me(according to my fiance)
the best part was the look on my guy's face wen he mentioned it
HAHahaha
he was M A D! lol cute

niwaez so nisa and me head on to haji lane to like check out the boutiques...it turns out like the best were displayed
the rest looked worth buying from bugis street
or rather mismatched , sewed up together...

in case u guys dunno nisa is like my besfrens from secondary and she's only gona be here like two weeks before heading back to melbourne...

so yea
after browsing through we went to tis one shop and bought grape sisha
i had high expectations from my bro's descriptions
and figured wat the hell

i had apple juice while nisa had some milo
we had to sit like on this dirty dusty mat but well there's the cushion
thank god i was wearing my favourite dress]

so anihow
it sucked!!!
on top of it all
we just looked out around to like make friends
ten we saw like a group mats
obvious wanted some sisha

so nisa pushed me only to ask them if they wanted our for free
js coz i was girlish
well did it aniwaez
at first they seemed a bit clueless y i was talking to them
they of coz took the offer kinda only after i said for free
ughh
well we were still sitting then the stripped shirt guy i talked to shouted across and asked us to join them ]
ten i said like after we pay the bill

ten we head on to the toilet first
upon returnin
the guys were like eyeing us as to whether we were actualli gona join
we were outnumbered
so forget it
and i said next time

wen we walked they were talking then ask one of them to be like cepat la
but we got on alone so yea

then we head my house ate dinnner i packed my stuff and we head on to her house
we had my movie cds wit me
so it beats me why we ended up watch discovery channels and ghost whisperer

then we called it the nite....
funny stuff happened haha
i'll respect her enough not to say though haha
well that's all i've got till now..
tada

fridae morning...

2008-07-04T09:58:00.002+08:00

yesterday after school had to go 10 kaki bukit ...appparently my guy's bike was still in queue wen i finish school...did my rj and went straight there...

had to wait long for him to firgure out how to tell me to convey the orad instruction to the taxi uncle..got me too anxious so i passed it to him..

so then i drank lemon tea and about few mins later came his dad
and i tell u!!!! everythin tt came out of his mouth were jokes!!!gosh....i wonder how red my face was..that'll probably made it all the more enjoyable for his dad to tease me!!!

haha
dad: bau kasut baru la
(sniffs the leather on the bike)
dad: tapi ni leather kn bukan pvc..
haha
omg!
cute rite
and lots more...

went to expo....
worm in my cup corn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haiz
went over got the woman to change despite her sulking

ouh!!!
and guess wad
had asthma attack on the bike on the road otw to expo
haha
cough damn bad
ten had to take a puff infront of lots of people
that woried him
its coz of the coloring in the lemon tea
so no cold drinks for me now...
well break time now

gtg
bubye

2008-07-03T15:19:00.001+08:00

What Nur Anisah Bte Yahya Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

what can i sae....

2008-07-03T14:32:00.004+08:00

todae everyone is js too lethargic to even bother to search and brainstorm on the ppt ...
so we kinda copied...hehe..
niwaez met my guy during the second break ...

found out that his ex didn't have enuf calling his hp...even wen he changed the number she called his hse phone...
i just wonder wad makes his mum let her talk to him eventho the agreement was not to even keep contact..now hu's the one gng thru all means to talk?

apparently one of the gurls told her he've moved on with someone else...
linda...hmm i wonder if i'll meet her..

she asked if he was hapi...
he said of coz
she also mentioned she viewed his frenster and saw pictures of us together...
she also had the skin to sae that i was much prettier
he said of coz

the thing abt gurls wen they do his.....they're not over u guys...
no matter how much a picture saes a thousand words...they just have to hear fof themselves

he then said u noe u're not supposed to call ...
she knows.....

this was not the first time
first was wen she called his hp in work
said how she met this guy whom she planned to marry
come on
why in the world would u do such a thing unless u wud wan that someone to be hurt
y wud u wanna hurt that someone
unless u wan to see even a flicker of feelings still imbedded for them
he told her that ur life and i'm wit mine...

yea woman
if only u wud read this entry
realise wad a fool u're making urself
however
u'd probably wudn't care coz u're too hurt as of now
all those memories flooding bck to u of him
all those non-erasable memories that the abstract parts of ur brains keeps putting it together nicely...
how u wish he wud take u back

i'd imagine u're physicall with this guy...
who most probably wud even make u forget my guy
but u cnt deny at times u fall in the pit...
feeling all weak
wishing the familiarity of the shoulders of my fiance...

asking back that 2000 ...
how low can u sink?
i dun wana go thru all those things u did...
not worth it

i only noe u cnt gt over him
yet all those things u did to him only strengthen him
made him change to the man i love
yet u're disturbing him
wen u disturb him u're disturbing me
and i also noe , if u're so completely into this new guy, u'd be married by now n not bothering my fiance
yet now i tink
if u'd be married that fast
how low can u sink wen u've alredi sunk low enuf...

my fiance is just too nice..
moreover cnt be bothered to call and actually tell daddy his lil gurl
is doin js wad he told my fiance not to

i am a lil sadden i didn't noe sooner
but i noe u just didn't wana tok bt it
coz to u wad does it matter
i luv u

now its only left me with one thing to think of
her supposedly frens from my guy's bike grp...
i noe i cn handle
anyone will noe u cnt expect sugar and everytin nice from tem
wen they alredi have the hypocrite attitude

easy i'll be sarcastic
yet to think of it
i wudn't wan to cause friction bwt him n his frens
but yet curiousity is burning in me
how r they like aould more or less give me the essence of her..

first i hated her
i envied her supposedly strength for being such a bitch
now that i see it
i feel pity
js plain ppity
but i do have this feeling whereby i wana meet them
give them the essense of myself for them to tell her
how i am in every way somehow better

but i'm not dumb
if ever any invitation to go out
i'll nvr buy it...
not in this lifetime ever...

i'll only end this entry to sae i pity her and look forward to show those gurls hui am
also congrats to u baby
sori i doubted u hehe
i'll strive harder now to surpass u in car license...hmm...let the battle begin...
ciao

blushing!!!

2008-07-01T16:40:00.002+08:00

omg!!!! i got ' the ring'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its soooooooooooo BEAUTIFULLLLL...

He took my hand and removed the ring i wore the normal ring...and hinted to me..the other one is much thinner....
then i said wad??
he said notin..
then he held on to the ring
i was like give it to me i feel empty
he was like why not be without it?
then i was like are u meaning to sae we aren't engaged???

he sheepishly took out wad i tot to be a brochure only that it was the reciept!!!!

my gosh best clarity ever!!!
star- shaped..
wow he was nervous gvin me the ring....
i couldn't stop smiling!!!

came bck in class and was like sheepishly showing my ring to my group of frens...
didn't realise that my fiance was there tryg his best to attract my attention both the available see through slots....
haha
gosh so embarassing!!
then andrew was like may i help u?
he was like yes, can u help me pass this to her pls...
andrew took it and then paused a moment ..
turned bck and said perhaps u guys wana tok...
(i was still oblivious to thisfact my fiance told me so sumtin like this)

and can u believe it that my fiance was like y r u smiling...
honey you propose to me with a diamond ring and u ask such question!!!

haiz i'm still itching to ask hwo much....
but he told me befre hand not to ask
my fren suggested check it out
but nah
i repect his decision
gosh its the best clarity!!!

well/....
gona head soon to meet nisa!!!
my besfren to catchp
wait till she knows!!
haha
well
of now....
hapi reading andre hahah
hope its not too cheesy??
leave a comment yea

Monday's blues....

2008-06-30T09:11:00.002+08:00

Most of you guys should know or have watched the soccer match ytr...Spain won huh...
So my guy , lil did i know went bck hm like ard 5 am in the morn from town....todae then pick me up like ard by 8 to send me to skool....meanin he has to wake up rd 6.30!!!!

gosh i tot he went bck rd 3..feel so bad and yet touched....
omg....don't you guys tink i'm so lucky to have him??? gosh...

niwaez todae's maths.....hmm....
my guy bet that i'm gona like buy me some ciggie todae!!!....I wonder myself if i'm losing to that bet....hmm...

dmn todae's not maths but computing...good luck to me!

ytr my baby cuzzen bt 8 mnths old came over....studyg made me stressed up so whenever i was i went over only to discover the baby alreadi asleep...but watching him sleep already calm me down...holding his head made me realise and wonder wow this kinda skull eventho smaller in size is gona come out of me one day soon!! in future.....but i tink it's a beautifull process tho....

gotta go!!....start my dae in work now....

my life, my destiny in god's will

2008-06-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

i've been doing a lot thinking lately..
the previous post i thought i would nvr be in..
life is very unexpected

To think of it now, this is the time of my life where i have to be strong..
For the first time i am faced with depression because of my parents...yet agn except worse
Why would they just not be like other parents?
It hurts a lot i have to hide...
If only i could be as honest i've nothing pretty much to hide.

Is it wrong if my heart feels how it feels?
Is is a sin if i cared for someone?
Dont they realise i've changed for the better because of u?
Dont they realise they were once my age?
Dont they realise this is not puppy love?

If only they knew...
If only they knew..
haiz...

I dont club
i dun drink..amongst other things...
what more cud they want?

I have been nice..
now i cud only sulk even more at the thought of the "ideal" guy..
everytin i join as ig or cca have been controlled
everything i wear
everywhr i go
every decision i've ever made

the one thing i can make
they wanna make me suffer and hide

why my siblings didn't gt it?
y me alone?

i now know i'll nvr share anitin
everytin i must keep to myself for it to be mine

dare they try to impose anitin i'll only find my way round
and i'll put my feet down
dare they mention him
or marriage before i do...
i'll wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see......

this is my life
my destiny
my heart
on god's will , i'll marry the man i love and let time prove my side of the story
this is just too much
too much for this century for such tolerance...

in god's will , i'll be and marry the man of my life
in god's will
i'll bear the child in future , non other then saharudi's.....

a song now which speaks of my life....haiz...

2008-06-29T22:06:00.002+08:00

Pernahkah Kau Bermimpi
Seketika Berada Di Tempatku
Membayangkan Pahit Manis Berlaku
Entah Siapa Yang Tahu
Mungkin Nanti Kau Jua
Merasakan Berdepan
Dengan Kata Menyesakkan
Takkan Tugumu Kebal
Tiada Pertimbangan
Keheningan Malam Membangunkan
Kepayahan Jiwa Meluahkan
Andai Kau Jujur
Memahami Tiadaku Menjauhi
Dan Kisahku Yang Masih Panjang
Menambahkan Berat Yang Memandang
Lantas Ku Pendam Ku Putuskan
Biarlah Rahsia
Semakin Aku Hidup
Dalam Cinta Tiada Kuasa Mampu
Menghalangnya Hentikan Kata Kata
Bertulangkan Dusta
Pernahkah Kau Bermimpi
Seketika Berada Di Tempatku

I'm sooooooooooo hapiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2008-06-23T16:13:00.003+08:00

I've been damn bz....one dae wen i have more time i will change these ugly background no thanks to some one. urgh.

niwaez have to catch up with my best buddy ..hady hang on in thr k...aniwaez....last week instead of studyg haha....had long meaningful and thereuputic (however tt's spelt) talk with some now close frens. So glad that b****** wasn't there...how cowardly...think any effect on me?huh...pweezz..u insult me....Found out his yet another not another few other dirty secrets....bastard....

like my fiance said...some things ain't worth defending over....still cnt believe wad a big heart u have my love...haiz....i stick to my word i'll nvr stop being patient for u to overcome all these...

aniwaez i cnt wait to hang out wit hadi this weekend and perhaps wit ice and iz....hope u guys won't forget!!! hehe...

ouh n if u r reading u bastard do urself a favour....stay out of the staircase and STAY OUT OF THE STAIRCASE ...AND DUN BOTHER TO COME....GOD CNT STAND UR FUGLY PRESENCE..

haha
tt was nice
now
well i'm just the happeist person on earth!!!!!!!!!
ok bg....wud it be the S'pore flier or.....wad?
wad?
wad?
wad?
cnt wait for the surprise !!!!hehe
we'll see
shall bring cameras from now on
hehe

if only i saw it sooner...

2008-06-22T13:40:00.004+08:00

These few weeks, a lot has happened and a lot has surfaced itself. Everything was there infront of my eyes.

Everyone could see it. I have finaly found the ONE.
Just cnt love him enough.
Ice and Iz and everyone is right. This person is right there for me all this time i just never got to open my eyes.

I just wanna tell the whole world how much u mean to me saharudi. I'm just so in love.
Wow i just cnt believe hhow in touch with my feelings i am .

Both of us had to go through idiots to see that we deserve each other.

Ive met ur family and hopefully in time they would come to see how i am not her and my mum is most definitely lkeing u better than him. hehe. With this lets pray for the wonderfull years ahead to come for us to cherish and the marriage to come.

let me get things clear

2008-05-16T09:15:00.005+08:00

how is it that someone claims he truly care for me
show to the whole world how cruel i've been as to ignore his missess
calling himself my boo

how is it that someone is viewed as the victim
when it is i who suffered silently for three freaking years

how is it that wen i'm hurt and alone
frens comfort me as to how he didn't mean it

how is it as to wen i thought for myself finaly
i am being stupidly unreasonable and selfish?

fyi pple
it takes two bloody hands to clap
do notice how no matter wad i suffer in silence
do notice how only one goes on rambling on blog oblivious to feelings and privacy or truth

one is guilty wen one goes about rambling to cover themself up
one is actually suffering taking it all in wen one knows she did notin wrong at all

everybody knows you dun have a crush overnite
let me js sae tt the other has always looked over she to other gurls
those frens of his is up to yall to believe or not

finally this is my side of the story

fyi
how can u ask me if i'm hurt wen u shld noe i am or not
fyi
dun disturb me
pls lecture me not
wen u're the one lyg
dun tell me u're hm wen u're not
dun tell me u're alone and sad wen u're not

dun tell me u're waiting
wen u're waiting to tell her u're waiting

for three freaking yrs i live with ure broken promises
ur humiliation
ur continuing guilt

for those hu truly know
DUN JUDGE ME IF U DUN NOE TWO SIDES TO THE STORY
I'VE BEEN FITNAH ON HIS BLOG
YET I DUN NOE HOW I FORGAVE HIM
I'VE COMPLETELY LOST TRUST

NOW I'VE MOVED ON
I'VE FOUND THE ONE HU HAS NVR HURT ME
THE ONE WHO WUN DO WAD HE DID
THE ONE HU TELLS IT AS IT IS
THE ONE I NOE I CAN TRUST
ONE I NOE I NVR HAV TO WORI WILL TELL THE WORLD I'M WRONG
ONE WHO'L NVR CHEAT ON ME
WEN I NOE I'M BEING A GD GF
ONE HU'S EYE CANDY IS ME

I LUV U RUDY

the update.....

2008-05-14T10:02:00.004+08:00

todae is the first dae of school for me after being sick for days and two days of recovery. I've been having this viral infection for quite sometime on and off. for those who knows what it is u'll noe. well the rest of u ting is i was told that some sort of like virus that triggers asthma to be real bad for those asthmatic like me. easily catched in cold environments . i first caught it when i went ice-skating with the DCG. so then onwards i was careful not to be too cold but not lately so i caught it agn!!! cept this time i had it in my eye!!! wuws haha just made me tink of worm-like thing swimming in my eye!!!

damn being in an air-corn environment is making me more dehydrated and sick. llost my voice half way last week . luckily my guy had lunch wit me as i was also burning up. he got me to drink the air badak and had strepsil, panadol for the headache i had on and off 2 wks over and some honey sticks i sucked and got my voice end of the dae to present!! he's so swit tho..i went in class alredi and he alredi otw back. i called for panadol and he bought and passed to me at my class...swit....

and todae!!!! i forgot to bring a sweater and pass it over to me!!! he was afraid i'll catch asthma agn and sick in this cold wheather....

niwaez2.......ouh and i almost forgot....doc said that if my headache prolonged i'd come bck and be referred to a neurologists..scaryyyyyyy.....prescribed me some painkillers...work.....

had my pedicure in cherry pink and my fingernails in dark red.....

yesterdae....my guy ha to wake me up and had me have lunch wit him ten accompanied me to buy my books and other stufsss.....we ate at this jap restraunt and had buffet lunch..haiz ten i had to see sakae sushi now halal ..mite as well eat ther ..cheaper...ten i met my mum and she's like are u sure u haven eaten?? ahha....mum know more...i tink she knows i went out wit hu..

i need to start werkin out....get fit...haiz so sickly nowadays so need to sweat my body...i feel so motivated...clean the hse...my health...my skin...but haiz tt why cn keep my painted nails shiny...

miss my old frens...DCG ....alyya..farah hu's gelang are rotting in my room...well will arrange to meet tem soon!!!

haiz ten i'm scared....mt btt close nxt mnth hol and i've yet relistuddied deep...great ten thr's madrasah exam...i wan A's for final yr!!! went first drivg lesson ..fun...

the instructor was like tryg to lossen me askg whether it's fun and all...haha said i looked so tensed...fun...

ten i came acrrosss my ex school mate..primary level...cool helped me find my way to the interchange...

the thurs incident will be forgotten and all bad past forgotten.....life's too short to hold grudges...cept for certain pple who tries to be like my father...hello pple!!!! i've got fine good capable biological folks still alive so dun u dare keeep askg wad the hell i do wit my freakg life and hu to befriend!!!!sharks u guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz sad ar....niwaez this is it for now.....muacks!!

update.....

2008-04-28T09:45:00.002+08:00

School's been good so far. Finally got a bunch of A's. NOT ENUF!!! haha.
I dun understand those chicks who wears full thick makeup to school everydae. Gosh it must be tiring to have to wakeup extra early to get the makeup rite and at the end of the dae taking it off. Some even with fake eyelashes! Wuws.... Ionli do so like if i have plans aft skul or sumtin. Don't u guys agree. ten wad if like during weekends you have to go out. wen will u gals let ur skin breathe!!

niwaezz non of my biznes i know i know. kepo rite hehe. wow looks like my ex got sum gurl admirer...hemmm...well goodluck. so anyhow ..i told my mum bt like my saving plans but all she cud tink bt was whether i was eating?? haha. adorable..i told her i dun starve!! on the contrary i eat a lot! haha..but i tink its just the wonder of skul tt does not let it show..coz like accordg to me relatives i'm gettg smaller..accused me of dietg..puhhlesss...no time la aunty...love choc too much..so guess that sort of got my mum worried..i mean i do eat a lot js not puttg on i dunno guess skul js lets me burn more calories ...slightest bit of stress does tt to me...bbut not losing weight though..hehe...wish i wud...which gal wudn't want right? my bro saes i'm fat..haha

ouh well....hu cares...but nowadays rite....i'm attracting more lesbians haha...hmm...hmm...interestg....haha nola dun tink yalll...ddun..still straight haha..sori not available to gurls...haha..won u gt bored i mean gurl gt same ting and tinkg not fun...no conflict...no fight..not fun haha...well i'm blank now....rite on later...

these two wks

2008-04-19T23:57:00.002+08:00

I'm two weeks into my school at republic poly and a lot has happened already. I got lost on the first day of school trying to find the right block to go to and class. Kind of stressful to go to class on time cause RP take being on time into consideration when giving grades.

I'm looking at my magazine rack right now and thinking of selling them , those i don't want anymore to the second-hand bookshop. Clear some junk at the same time get some profit out of it.After all they are in good condition still.

Today also my mum got verbally harrassed by some shovenist racist famiy. Apparently they got into my mum's way of parking and they were holding back some other two cars wanting to park . My mum did the next logical step to give them a curtesy horn. The not happy guy came out and started a fight with my mum. My mum went as far as apologising to them upon something as trivial and which is not her fault at all. I mean come on is it an offence to horn at times to remind and when in actual fact they should really hurry up??!! Ridiculous!! Then the guy also came too near my mum shouting at her. My mum just wanted to shrug it off and said OMG. HE INSULTED MY RELIGION AND SAID WAD GOD?WAD GOD? YOUR ALLAH GOD? I ALSO GOT GOD. i'M A CATHOLIC. BIG DEAL!!!!!no offence to those who r reading and who are. My mum argued back of coz refering to her god what else rigt'? And stupid malay guy that my mum spoke to for help who apparently wind down his window to hear just said be patient an went off witout helping??TYPICAL SINGAPOREANS!!Those who are reading i beg of u guys stop this stupid habit of ur bussiness is urs and mind is mine. Best part? When my mum said she only horned for courtesy of others, they said let them wait and asked if she has children. of course my mum fucking has children!!!Stupid racist , male shovenist ,typical kiasu Singaporeans!!i mean u're living in a hdb flat for god sakes see yourself in the mirror!!How damn bloody big r u??I take it back when i said that was the best part. Here's the special. SINGAPORE POLICE ARE DAMN BLOODY LAZY.THEY ONLY TAKE ACTION WHEN THERE'S PHYSICAL EVIDENCE AND DON'T WANT TO PURSUE MATTERS OTHERWISE.BITE ME BUT THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I HATE THEM.I'M A LAW ABIDING PERSON BUT COME ON RIGHT.YOU GUYS ARE DAMN BLOODY GETTING FREE MONEY!!

on to the next topic. gotta choose the cca i want and the ig i need . in case u dun noe, cca does not give pts but yall noe it looks good. plus i wanna join to enjoy it and let it define me a lil bit. yall noe wad u like and do defines hu u r. ig is a somewhat of a club u join to gt CE pts. i've got one in mind , is seg ig. but i need to noe wad it does. if stupid camp stuff i hate then mite as well not. i'm sort out other ways to gt those pts. i'm signed up for electronic music . its like dj-ying.but thng is lots of guys inside.just us three gurls (my frens n i) joined. also signed up for biking. haiz even that lots of guys. put my name in for vogue too. more of how they teach the ettiques for plenty of occasions.makeup, for job interviews and stuff.also for rugby.i noe i noe. u guys will go what?? nah well rugby in this case i signed up js becoz my frens did so..not relli keen on it. i'm more keen on the rest three cca i've signed up for.they're not confirmed in case u're wonderg though.

also my frens and i(two others) have came up with outfit ideas.
mondae- goth dae all black
tues- dress dae
wed-pink dae
thur-jeans dae
fri-skirt dae
also planing to check out the school gym ,library ,pool and various other sports courts.

1st blog

2008-02-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my blog..